Lights Out!! Leo's one and only blog

What a way to start my lunar new year man. My sis's boyfriend(who's japanese) bought this really good but really sad movie and she brought it home. So I poped it into my dvd player and decided to watch the trailer first to see what the movie is about. Wah, the trailer already depressed me man! You see a little boy running along the road and calling for his mother like he'll never see her again and the next scene you see a lady asking the bakery uncle to send 12 years worth of birthday cakes to her son until he's 18. And so, I started playing the main movie, the atmosphere and music already set the mood, clear sadness. You feel sad for the father and son when they're at the funeral of the boy's mother. But here's the twist, she told the boy that she'll come back during the next rainy season and he really believes her. So does the father.The story takes off from there till it's bittersweet ending(See! No spoiler!). Although it may not make much sense at the beginning, all the loose ends are tied at the end and at the same time, it caused my sis and I many tears, I guarantee it's a must watch! Alot of chemistry between the cast make their acting as a loving family believable. Oh yeah, the title of this entry is the title of the film or: be with you, direct translation: now, go meet. Watch it!

To prevent this blog from being too melancholy or military I better start blogging about my civilian life:

Eversince the start of my national service I haven't been cycling at all... till today. That familiar thump on your butt whenever the rear of your bike lands from a step(I didn't get a softtail nor full suspension bike lah). Saw an acquiantance from poly but didn't say hi to her because I only realised who she was when I was about to turn away. Then cycled past DONkey's place where I remembered the time we had our TS reunion dinner at his place where we also played indian poker and whoever got the card from me would always lose the round and I don't know why, during the last few rounds mun and yogi lost and had to down melted chocolate mixed with a raw egg each, DONkey got it worse as he lost the final round and had to down a cup of raw egg mixed with ALOT of chili sauce and tomato ketchup(it was his idea but we gave him the smallest card)! Cycled to my sec school and I am proud to find out how much it improved eversince I left because the percentage of O-level passes is now 79.5, during my time the percentage was much lesser, ah beng school mah. Hopefully, the ah beng era in that school is long gone man.

My last destination was back at my old place in jurong west! Initially I just wanted to cycle to the area but the moment I got there I got this urge to visit my old house so I took the elevator and went to the door step, bicycle and all. What happened there also surprised me! I went up and started knocking the door, initially there was no response and my ex-neighbours(who forgot who I was because I moved 8 years ago) started looking at me with kay-poness till I identified myself. After knocking on the door for afew minutes it finally opened(maybe they thought I was a salesman in cyclist get-up) and I was so excited I stuttered my words till I stopped, composed myself and asked if I could enter because I used to stay there. The aunty was very kind to allow me in and even invited me to join her for lunch with her nasi bryani and ta-pao home for my mother but I was too embarrased to becasuse I didn't get her anything! Walking around my old home truely made me happy, the home where I stayed for 13 years and had many memories(good and bad) which started coming back to me. The mark on the floor caused by my sister and I when we were in primary school when we made our own "pizza", we took out the frozen pizza, put it on a porcelain plate, put it in the oven and took it out, we thought a cloth was enough till it got too hot we put it on the (cushioned)floor and when we took it out there was a melt mark on the floor which is still there today! Even though the floor turned more yellowish than when I left, it truely felt like I was home again. The place that I would dream about eversince I moved out till today invoked that cozy, warm and welcoming feeling you get inside like when you go back home after serving your 3 week confinement period in tri-service term. I walked over to those places in my ex-home where I used to spend countless hours playing my videogames at the living hall and computer games in my sister's room, exercise almost everywhere, do my pull ups using my (super strong)window grills which haven't been replaced, washing the kitchen and toilets, the ceiling that I remember trying to touch while I was growing(I remember running a distance and jumping with all my might just to touch it), the places in the house where I prayed, and I even remembered the places where I usually got punished! Floods of memories kept revisiting me at that time, memories I cherish.
So when I left, I wished them and my ex-neighbours a happy new year.

And to all my readers, Have a happy Chinese New Year and enjoy yourselves.

Oh that INDESCRIBABLE feeling... That is WHAT you get when you're driving a tank! Once you push that button and feel the tank engine starting up and vibrating. Even better is piloting that chunk of metal. Things started out abit rough in the beginning of the week because I was screwed by my instructor for reckless driving hehe but what to do? Once the blood starts pumping, you just wanna see how fast the thing would go although I moved extremely slow... for the first 10 meters because I was afraid of the tank hitting a tree or overturning because it fell into a ditch but later I was like "Heck it" and floored the accelerator till I felt that my tank was very near a bunch of leaves that I suddenly turned left but oversteered and made another sudden turn to the right and that was when the shite hit the fan and I got screwed. Oh well, I still got my tank license in the end and I'm very proud of that because before I even drive a car I get to drive a multimillion dollar tank, that's a many fold upgrade the type of vehicle I drive. Now, all I have to do is to get that vehicle to drive on public roads.... yeah right! Only when pigs can fly will that ever happen! But if that ever happens, I'll probably run over all the cars in my way heh. Finally, I got my tank license 2 days ago! My tester is a great man, unlike the usual testers who would just stay there and make you feel uncomfortable, the moment I stepped into the tank we started chatting about everything under the sun and I didn't feel one bit uncomfortable. So for both my day and night driving tests, he told me: "Good driving!" haha, my head is growing ever in size.

Contrary to the great time I spent driving, although conditions in where I am now compared to where my friends stuck there is much better I feel that im falling to the realm of being a buay-kan(incapable) cadet. I don't know why, my focus is off, i can't seem to absorb information as much as I could before, I'm becoming blurer, I can't seem to get things done right and I don't know why. Back at SAFTI, I could do everything. My instructors would get me to be the demonstrator for things we just learnt and I could answer what ever questions they threw at me. During field camps whenever my instructor said he wanted a positive demonstration for a field monoeuvre before we could all rest(if not he'll make us redo it) he would get me to be the appointment holder and I would be able to do it. Back then, during tests I even liked going to the instructors who would treat cadets harshly through "verbal power" whenever they made mistakes because I like to challenge myself to see how I can maintain my composure under them and not once did I get scolded by them. Heck, they even talked to me nicely and called me out to be demonstrator on the test day itself to my fellow cadets because I was the only person who did the drill(s) correct! But even though I want to do well here because I like this place, I can't seem to find the answers to the questions thrown to me nor be able to identify the slightly more intricate parts of the tank... What's happening to me? I don't want to be a f***** up officer when I commission.

On the contrary, the enciks(warrant officers) in camp are really nice people. They have a wealth of wisdom and experience gained over the years and are more than willing to share and advice us on what type of officers we should be when we become platoon commanders and how to deal with different problems. I must really learn from them. My RSM is especially a very fatherly figure. I think he knows I'm troubled and he took the trouble to remember my name and he would always smile at me and ask: "Lionel, ni hao ma?"(are you ok?) in a fatherly tone. He would always tell me I look stressed out(and I probably am although I don't feel it). Before the driving test, he even gave me a massage! Imagine, a RSM, the CO's right hand man giving me, a cadet a massage! It's because of him, I'm feeling better but I don't know whether this feeling would last till after I go back to the sufferage...

After 10 days in Brunei I did not come back empty handed. I came back with a scar on my forehead! Topoing in the jungle is really a good way to improve a soldier's or the occasional adventurer's nav skills. But the tiring part is climbing up near 90 degree slopes that never seem to end... And my team did that many a time! The worse part is doing it when your shoulders feel like giving way due to carrying the full pack with so much trash and your 3 day combat ration.The field pack is light but the combat rations are HEAVY, even worse is when the field pack is wet from your walking in the stream that starts at ankle level and soon goes to knee and waist level and you falling when you slip on a rock in the bed of the stream. Whoever said that the water in Brunei is terrible must really be knocked in the head, the stream waters are crystal clear! But adding the water purifiers make them taste like chlorine. The water that made me hesitate drinking them was the river water because it is murky and leeches live in them. I was afraid that I'll swallow a leech while drinking the water so I used my teeth while drinking as a "filter". In any case, water is really a B**** when it makes you wet and adds weight to your load. Must make a mental note when I go back there for JCC: never walk in the stream nor try to bash in the hopes of saving time by climbing up a bloody slope that will require you to use the toggle rope to climb up and lastly, the azimuth will just waste your time when taking the direction, just use the general direction when reading the compass and fly off to the next checkpoint. The brunean jungle really tests your combat fitness man! It's really good training ground with all the ups and downs. I discovered that I'm not as combat fit as I thought I was and I really respect the signaller! Carrying the bloody signal set on flat ground is really a challenge but carrying it and walking up and down knolls is no joke especially when you're carrying it for a whole day! Must find the time to train my combat fitness man. And how was sleeping in the jungle? Shiok man! Because we tied hammocks! At first you wouldn't think the hammock would support your weight because the strings don't look strong. Just wait till you sit in the middle and swing on it that you find that it's THAT strong! A hammock is the adventurer's best friend, get one.

Last part of the outfield was climbing up biang and why they call it biang is while climbing up the mountain you'll look up just to see how high up before you reach the summit and you'll say: "Wah biang". The fatigue is made worse when you're suffering from heat rash. More neverending steep slopes and knolls but while you're ascending the mountain, you'll feel you're nearing the top as you feel the drop in temperature and when you finally reach the top of the mounatin, you'll feel that sense of accomplishment, and relief that the climb is finally over but only for a night because while you're climbing up there, you'll be thinking:"I'll give anything to be off this mounatin" and that very same thought kept visiting us while we were descending biang. Anyway, while we were at the top, we tried to finish whatever combat rations we had to lighten our load. Little did we know that the expected length of time we expected to come down the mountain was times 2 so in the end, we reached the foot with hunger. Coming down biang was like going fantasy island but a muddy one at that. We were sliding down mud because the slope was too steep and muddy so no choice have to slide down with our butts. Luckily there were no hidden rocks embedded into the ground or else........ "LI!" But the most dangerous part of being a "slider" is sliding too fast and getting entangled in the thorn plants, because those who went first identified them and when the next few guys started coming down, the guys who went first had to shout over: "Beware!! Torn plants!". And torn plants are really sharp! It tore a bit of flesh from my thumb and the thumb still has the wound there. Careful!

But where did I get that scar on my forehead? It was a dumbass accident lah. Imagine coming back from the mountain and your commanders force you to stay awake for the following 2 days while warning us that if we were caught sleeping we'll be given extras. Bo pian, while the guys from the other arms were sleeping, relaxing or loboing(idling), we were doing all sorts of unnecessary nonsense(endless stanbys, getting pumped and cleaning of weapons). So when we went for our R&R, while I was at one of the shopping centres, I was walking to this store and since I was feeling very grogy, everything didn't look clear and I walked into a glass panel! That was THE cock thing to do! So I checked my nose first because I was afraid it broke, ok no pain but I still felt pain somewhere but didn't know where due to the concussion. It didn't take long before some people gathered around me and looked at me with alot of concern but I thought, "look, I just walked into the glass panel, no big issue. I just feel abit dazed. Give me a moment to gather myself" but that ws not the case, everyone was looking at me and I was getting irate till one of my fellow cadets said out to me: "you're bleeding!" So I checked my nose again, no ddeformity, no blood. "I'm not bleeding wat" I thought, so I replied "No blood wat". but when he pointed at my head, checked my forehead and my palm was full of blood! Shite! Luckily my friend, Washington was there so he accompanied me to the toilet to wash the wound. The sales girl there was also very nice because she offered me a tissue but I declined, nice people them bruneans. For the rest of my time there, my good friend Ci Wen accompanied me around. Luckily the cut was not a big one but it was really deep! 2 weeks and it's still there and the pain is still there when I touch it.

To counter our not-so-good accomodations at Brunei we got to take to and fro SQ flights and I managed to catch "corpse bride" and parts from "the 40 year old virgin". Both solid shows! At the same time, I also got some play time with super mario and relieved some parts of my 7 year-old childhood. So we had some good times and many BAD times. When we finally touched down in singapore, everyone clapped because going there you actually realise how fortunate we are here in Singapore. We may find Orchard road boring, but coming back here I say "Hell no". Going to places not as developed as Singapore really makes you appreciate your lifestyle and way of life.

So when my long week end after the overseas training ended, I reluctantly returned to camp. Thinking of the shit we're going to go through and the endless samulas by one of our instructors nicknamed the "Samula KING" but seeing my good friends brightened my mood. But the unthinkable happened, we changed platoons and I was paired up with a person I totally didn't know... until I found out that he was a brudder I went with for my jungle compass course! Heng ah! A buddy on the same frequency as me because my good first buddy was posted to the air force on the second day and I wonder why I wasn't posted back to OCS as infantry! But the next day after I booked in, I found out that I was posted to Armour for training to be a tank commander in addition to my vocation. Life there is definitely much better. I'll be driving the All Terrain Tracked Carrier next week which is also an amphibious tank. We actually get to sleep and eat, even more so compared to when we were in OCS but I still miss OCS, I miss Alpha wing(really a home away from home), I miss the turnouts at Alpha wing, the tekan sessions(crawl from Alpha wing to Delta wing and back 4 times, FBO in 5 mins, change into whatever attire in 3 mins and fall in, fireman lift and squats, fieldpacks overheads while in high kneel, jumping jacks with fieldpacks, jumping jacks 100 counts of 8, running SOC 3 times continuously with minimal rest, 7-11, rifle overhead in the rain or any weather condition, hold your FBO and arms straightened, everything in and out in 1 min times infinity, half push-up and hold it there, leopard crawl like no tomorrow up the hill and on the rocky ground till our skin tear, basically doing them till the cadets at sierra wing don't get any sleep, Alpha wing is the one and only place to be). Today whild holding the M203, I realised how much I missed holding a weapon. I remembered what my favourite guardsman, Lta Haniff(his fav quote: "gentlemen, there must never be a time you do not meet your timing") taught us on how to turn around and engaged the enemy faster and I couldn't help but practice it but some foolish bull thought I was acting garang and tactlessly said: "you can don't act garang or not" I was like: "Fuck you understand! Combat is in my blood and no one, NO ONE can dilute it." but I just ignored that senseless git. I miss Major Ong Chew Meng(our commando) for all his inspiring and encouraging lectures(his fav quote: "I will not apologise for tough training, I'm here to train future officers. Not boy scouts, ncc or npcc" and he really meant what he said because whenever he led pt, he made us do navy seal pt as he was a navy seal), I miss Lta Lim Jit Keong for all his knowledge, leadership by example and tekaning sessions(his fav quote: "GOOD DAY!"), I miss Lta Khoo Zhongren for his encouragement and treating us more as his friends than as his trainees(his fav quote: "NOT CLEVER!"), I miss Lta Neo Hong Giap for driving me around(His mannerism: *TWITCHES HEAD*), haha. But as I type this, I realise how much my heart still belongs to OCS.

Going to Brunei this evening. Wish everything goes smoothly and no one gets injured... and most importantly, I don't make any mistakes and sign any extras... Yes, extras are worse than injuries! God help me.....